Aquarius-January 20 to February 19:
Most of us are concerned with our colleagues' opinions of us but this is your life and you must live it your way. If those Power Ranger boxer shorts put you at ease, then by all means, wear them. Who cares what your co-workers think?

Pisces-February 20 to March 20:
The latter half of 1995 is not going to treat you well; in fact, it's going to be a disaster. The only good month will be August and even then, you're going to have a headache that won't let up until the 23rd.

Aries-March 21 to April 20:
Next time you travel with American Airlines, try the chicken fajita salad. Best darned airline food I ever tasted.

Taurus-April 21 to May 19:
You will soon receive a phone call that will turn out to be a wrong number. The caller will apologize for having disturbed you and you will respond with something along the lines of "Hey, no problem-o!" and hang up. But what you won't realize is that the caller will then turn to his wife and say "This bozo on the phone just said 'No problem-o!' What a dork!" There's nothing you can do about this, of course, but I thought you'd want to know.

Gemini-May 20 to June 20:
That dinner party you have planned for the end of the month will be a total bust but no one will dare tell you why. Except me, of course. It's the wine, dummy. Riunite just won't cut it. Your friends are more sophisticated than you give them credit for. Go ahead and splurge on the Blue Nun. Your friends deserve the best!

Cancer-June 21 to July 21:
Man, do I feel sorry for you. It's, like, eleven months until your birthday comes around again.

Leo-July 22 to August 21:
We don't truly experience life to the fullest until we learn to forgive ourselves our past mistakes. You weren't the first 9-year-old ever to steal a Snickers bar from a 7-11, I can assure you, and the fact that, in the ensuing struggle, one clerk was killed and another maimed for life just proves that you were nervous. It's time to let that little mishap go and start to really live!

Virgo-August 22 to September 22:
We all panic at times, suffer bouts of insecurity. We imagine that we're all alone, that no one understands us or even cares to try. Sadly, however, in your case, all the above is true.

Libra-September 23 to October 22:
1995 will bring you financial hardship. Armed with this knowledge, you must now alter your lifestyle in preparation for the coming hard times. Cutting down on magazine subscriptions is one relatively painless way to pinch pennies. Nothing drastic is called for but, c'mon, must you really subscribe to both Soap Opera Digest and Soap Stars Monthly?

Scorpio-October 23 to November 21:
I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy to be calm when you've found something going on. But take your time, think a lot, think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow but your dreams may not.

Sagittarius-November 22 to December 21:
What person alive today hasn't asked him- or herself, when seeing a group of co-workers, say, or friends at a party talking in whispers among themselves, "Hey, are they talking about me?" It's human nature. While, for most of us, this is a fleeting and unwarranted moment of paranoia, in your case, it's justified. People are constantly talking about you behind your back and often as not, the word they use to describe you is "stinky".

Capricorn-December 22 to January 19:
While no one could claim for a moment that you're not fastidious in your personal hygiene practices, pleases do take an extra moment, every now and then, to pay a little extra attention to the back of your neck. It tends to get a little grimy.

Email Criswell at: criswell@brettnews.com..

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